day 14.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

My husband, Patrick :)

He's my best friend!

The best Daddy!

And a handsome stud, too!

And I love him so much! I don't know what me or Em would do without him!

day 7.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

My engagement ring :)

It symbolizes the decision Patrick made to ask me to be his wife.

And the decision I made to accept.

I can't wait to join my wedding band with it (5 days!).

fretting.

Why, oh, why is going to bed so difficult? I have so much to do tomorrow. I need the sleep. I am going to be so ticked at myself in the morning when I am exhausted but I just can't pull myself up from this couch to go to bed. Boo.

I have been so stressed today. Patrick hasn't quite understood how much pressure I am already under and once he explained it to me, I sort of got why he was brushing me off. He said every semester I complain that my classes are so hard and I'm scared I'm going to fail and then I make straight A's. So when I came home and stressed about my projects and stuff he didn't really think much of it. But I am really, really feeling the pressure this semester. I don't know if it's because I am taking 18 hours or because I have Emmaline and Patrick's working so the responsibility of house and baby are falling more on me or because the wedding stuff is also coinciding now or if my classes are just also legitimately harder but I am, for the first time, scared.

I am scared I am going to forget to do an assignment (especially in my online class!!) or remember just the night or day before when it's essentially too late. I am scared of some of these assignments from two classes in particular.

One class we have to teach 20 minute lessons to our peers. I am fine with public speaking but there is just a lot to remember to make sure we do and I have a feeling our Professor is going to grade hard.

The other class is a technology class for teachers. Buh. I am so bad at computers and stuff, really. And we have to build a whole website among other technology-ish stuff. Here's mine so far. Aint she perty? Try not to barf on your monitor. We also have a lot of homework throughout the week which isn't bad at all but I just get nervous that I am not going to know how to do it and I don't want to forget or mess up.

I guess I am just taking my normal worry-wart self/overachiever and kicking it into high gear. Unfortunately. And it isn't doing me an ounce of good. I basically had a stomach ache all day just worrying about all the work I had to do and that almost made me miss out on all the fun Em had going to her first birthday party. She's growing up so fast, gah. She's even got another party to go to in a couple weeks! Miss Pop-u-lar!

Here she is playing with her baby friends:

And here is a video of her eating her big girl snackies:

I know what you must be thinking: "Get off your blog and go do homework. Stop whining and do something about it!" And I will. I just need to express myself, alright? ha. But really. I needed to get this off my chest and share a cute lil picture and video with you.

Maybe now I can go to sleep!

heavy.

It's that time of the year again. Fed Ex and UPS men are visiting my door daily with school books ordered cheaply (and smartly, if I do say so myself) off Amazon. I'm making tuna fish sandwiches to pack in my lunch (yes, I'm that girl who busts out the fishy sandwich in class). And every Tuesday and Thursday I have to say goodbye to my sweet baby and get my learnin' on.

It hasn't been too bad so far. I am taking 18 hours this semester and I was pretty nervous about it. But... it has to be done. I want to graduate. It's time. With Patrick working downtown at the Legislature Monday through Friday, I wasn't exactly sure how childcare was going to work with Em. But I didn't want Patrick to miss out on that opportunity. I knew it was important to him and a good experience to have. Luckily, we have wonderful family. My Dad's job is super flexible and he is able (and willing!) to drive an hour and fifteen minutes out here twice a week to watch Emmaline for us. How amazing is that? We are so fortunate to not have to put her in daycare and she gets to spend quality time with a grandparent. And she loves her Miyagi (her name for him!).

Speaking of Em, she is so fun these days. She is always up to something silly. When she's playing on the floor with her toys, she likes to roll around and scoot until she's stuck under the futon on her belly facing out. It's quite remarkable that she can get into that position considering she still can't crawl yet. However, she can't get out of it! So Mamma has to come over there and pull her out. She still only says "DaDa" despite me working very hard for that "MaMa!" I will have her in my lap and tell her "MA...MA.." and she'll look at my lips very closely and concentrate for a minute and stare and then slowly say "Da..Da.." haha. I have to laugh.

Wedding planning is coming along. It's in exactly a month! It turns out the reception site which burned down a week ago and we initially thought would be repaired in time won't be ready for our day so now we are scrambling to find an alternative. This is the part I really don't like. But I know we have to make a decision. We are going to look at a place on Saturday and we have a couple other options as well. Invitations went out today. We had to hold off because we weren't sure whether we were moving the wedding site, or date and finally we just decided to send them and if we need to change something later we will. Honestly, I just want to be married! I want it to be beautiful and to show our guests a good time, but the most important thing to me is that we are officially married. I just love him so much!

Here is a picture of Em getting stuck!

And a favorite one of mine she recently mugged for...