break.

Well it's nearly midnight in the middle of my last Spring Break as a college student (hopefully!). And while I'm not participating in any wet t-shirt contests, letting strange males drink liquor from my navel or flashing strangers for "Girls Gone Wild!" I am enjoying the break nonetheless. Crazy, huh? :)

I am trying to get caught up, or ahead I suppose, on my schoolwork but Emmaline and her newfound talent of climbing are not really letting me do too much of that. It's ok though. I am doing a little here and there. My Dad has been awesome and came a couple hours on Tuesday even though he technically wasn't needed at all so I could go to the library and study . I have to take my Praxis on Saturday and I am so nervous. He's coming again tomorrow so I can study ALL day and I need it! I studied the PLT part (teacher stuff) on Tuesday so I will review a little of that but I mostly want to focus on the history part tomorrow. The history Praxis exam covers everything from the the beginning of time up to now so there is a lot to study!

Other than that, my grades in class seem to be ok. I have only made one B so far (the rest all A's) and from what I could see of everyone else's papers, I think I was pretty lucky to get that. He seemed so easygoing the whole semester and then we had this paper and it was like BAM! evil professor. I know I shouldn't be complacent but I will still be happy if I pull out a B in that class. I would love to have all A's but it's English and I have never had an issue getting A's on papers and if he wasn't satisfied then I really don't know what more I could have done. I did all the readings I was supposed to do, have been to every single class on time, contribute to the class discussions and wrote a standard Naomi paper. So, I am trying to be reasonable here and accept that I will probably not be able to please him. Although, I do think I scored brownie points in the last class meeting because I knew what a comma splice was and what the past participle of "lie" is (it's "lain").

But life is going well. I am so enjoying being married. I love the security of knowing Patrick is ours forever. I always believed and trusted him before but there is something about going through the whole ceremony that just makes it official; it was the everlasting icing on our lifetime cake :) I am still tickled to call him "my husband." And he really is the best husband and Daddy. I don't know how or why I got so blessed. I really don't. I pray my sisters and Emmaline wait until a man like Patrick comes along and finds them because they deserve nothing less than the love, joy, security, comfort and peace a relationship like this can bring.

Well, I need to get back to homework. It's late but I am not ready for bed yet. I am such a party animal...

day 17.

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

duh. my sweet Emmaline :) She has completely changed my life!

day 16.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

This little girl right here!

I have never worked so hard in my life to accomplish what I need to do. I bust my butt every day to get done what I need to.

I am up by 7 or 8a every morning to take care of Em and get ready for the day. The rest of the day is either spent in school or cleaning house and taking care of my girl.

Then it's time to feed Em and make dinner for Patrick and me. And once everyone is clean, fed, and in bed then I stay up for a few hours and do my schoolwork. I never go to bed before 10p. Most nights I am up until midnight. Some nights I am up until 3a.

Then I am up the next morning doing it again.

This semester I am taking 18 hours and I have never been more prepared, more on top of my game, or more focused. And in 288 days I will finally be graduating. I completely credit my sweet Emmaline.

day 14.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

My husband, Patrick :)

He's my best friend!

The best Daddy!

And a handsome stud, too!

And I love him so much! I don't know what me or Em would do without him!

day 11.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

(Ahh, everything that came to mind first was really controversial, haha.

Let's go with something a little more tame...)

The alarm clock! Boo!

Although now, my alarm clock is more Emmaline than my phone. And I don't hate her... not at all :)

I just heart my sleep!

day 9.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

My Mommy!

Through everything... school, boyfriends, moving... she has always been there for me.

She is one of the hardest workers I know and she gives everything she has for me, my siblings, and my Daddy!

And now, she is showing me how much she loves me even more by being the best Granny to my sweet Emmaline.

I love her so much.

day 6.

Day 06 - A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day.

This was kind of hard at first because I love my life; I wouldn't ever want to leave it behind and take someone else's! But if I could go here for a day... or week... I think I would be a very happy Naomi, especially if I had my sweet Patty next to me and Emmaline napping in a cool bungalow.

day 5.

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Hard to pick just one...

Meeting and holding my baby girl for the very first time.

After months of waiting, dreaming, and praying...

After hours of worrying and laboring...

She was here and in my arms!

day 1.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of your night.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06 - A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you’re afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

Day 1: A picture of yourself with 15 facts

1. I have lived in over two dozen houses/apartments in my life in seven states.

2. I have abnormally small hands and ears but abnormally large pupils.

3. I was fully potty trained by 18 months and did so by being given an M&M every time I went in the big girl potty.

4. I have a weird phobia of showers/wet surfaces. I shower with flip flops in my own shower and refuse to take baths. It makes me nauseated and if I accidentally touch the shower walls or curtain I get goosebumps because it grosses me out. (I don't do well at water parks, by the way.)

5. I have never broken a bone.

6. I am allergic to cat, goat and guinea pig hair (that I know of).

7. The smell of coconuts, watermelon, and licorice gives me a headache.

8. I graduated 5th in my class with a GPA of 4.063 in high school. My middle sister is blowing this out of the water right now as a Junior!

9. I helped deliver my baby sister in the L&D room, got to announce her sex (we never could tell from her ultrasounds as she was a lady and hid her coo coo from us!), put on her first diaper, and hold her before anyone else in family.

10. My first word was "nice."

11. My favorite foods are pizza and cookies.

12. My favorite color is hot pink and I love to dress Emmaline in it!

13. Emmaline and I have a freckle in the exact same spot on our chests.

14. I don't own a hairbrush and I haven't since I was in middle school. I never brush my hair because 1] it never, ever gets tangled and 2] if I did brush it, it would turn into a gigantic, static frizz ball.

15. When I was little and anyone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would either say lawyer or first woman President.

phone.

My little girl is all grown up. tear...

But no really! She's getting so big and so smart and so beautiful by the minute! She cut her right middle top tooth today and I think the left one will cut tomorrow! Patrick gave her a spoon tonight with baby food on and turned it around for her and she put it in her mouth all by herself! She did this about 3 or 4 times! We were so amazed! haha Also, when I was playing with her and hiding my phone, she knew exactly where to go and get it. She completely understands that just because she can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist anymore! That's a huge milestone for infants!

Alright y'all, I'm gonna share a video with you but you have to promise not call CPS on me. Deal? hehe

yay!

We're still working on MaMa (come on!) but she can say DaDa and Yay! She claps her little hands when she says Yay too. Come on, you know that's adorable!

Every morning she wakes up around 7-ish and has an 8 oz. bottle and a diaper change. Then I put her into her swing and she usually falls asleep immediately for another hour or two. Some mornings though, she'll stay up for a minute and play. She usually ends up yelling "DA...DA" over and over. It makes me laugh because he's long gone to work by that point and I'm like, "Girl, who just got your cute lil butt out of bed, made your bottle, fed you, changed you and laid you back down? It wasn't DaDa! Say MAMA!" haha. But it'll come in time. I just have to be patient...

Here's Mommy's Girl playing on the floor practicing her vocabulary and eating snackies!

fretting.

Why, oh, why is going to bed so difficult? I have so much to do tomorrow. I need the sleep. I am going to be so ticked at myself in the morning when I am exhausted but I just can't pull myself up from this couch to go to bed. Boo.

I have been so stressed today. Patrick hasn't quite understood how much pressure I am already under and once he explained it to me, I sort of got why he was brushing me off. He said every semester I complain that my classes are so hard and I'm scared I'm going to fail and then I make straight A's. So when I came home and stressed about my projects and stuff he didn't really think much of it. But I am really, really feeling the pressure this semester. I don't know if it's because I am taking 18 hours or because I have Emmaline and Patrick's working so the responsibility of house and baby are falling more on me or because the wedding stuff is also coinciding now or if my classes are just also legitimately harder but I am, for the first time, scared.

I am scared I am going to forget to do an assignment (especially in my online class!!) or remember just the night or day before when it's essentially too late. I am scared of some of these assignments from two classes in particular.

One class we have to teach 20 minute lessons to our peers. I am fine with public speaking but there is just a lot to remember to make sure we do and I have a feeling our Professor is going to grade hard.

The other class is a technology class for teachers. Buh. I am so bad at computers and stuff, really. And we have to build a whole website among other technology-ish stuff. Here's mine so far. Aint she perty? Try not to barf on your monitor. We also have a lot of homework throughout the week which isn't bad at all but I just get nervous that I am not going to know how to do it and I don't want to forget or mess up.

I guess I am just taking my normal worry-wart self/overachiever and kicking it into high gear. Unfortunately. And it isn't doing me an ounce of good. I basically had a stomach ache all day just worrying about all the work I had to do and that almost made me miss out on all the fun Em had going to her first birthday party. She's growing up so fast, gah. She's even got another party to go to in a couple weeks! Miss Pop-u-lar!

Here she is playing with her baby friends:

And here is a video of her eating her big girl snackies:

I know what you must be thinking: "Get off your blog and go do homework. Stop whining and do something about it!" And I will. I just need to express myself, alright? ha. But really. I needed to get this off my chest and share a cute lil picture and video with you.

Maybe now I can go to sleep!

heavy.

It's that time of the year again. Fed Ex and UPS men are visiting my door daily with school books ordered cheaply (and smartly, if I do say so myself) off Amazon. I'm making tuna fish sandwiches to pack in my lunch (yes, I'm that girl who busts out the fishy sandwich in class). And every Tuesday and Thursday I have to say goodbye to my sweet baby and get my learnin' on.

It hasn't been too bad so far. I am taking 18 hours this semester and I was pretty nervous about it. But... it has to be done. I want to graduate. It's time. With Patrick working downtown at the Legislature Monday through Friday, I wasn't exactly sure how childcare was going to work with Em. But I didn't want Patrick to miss out on that opportunity. I knew it was important to him and a good experience to have. Luckily, we have wonderful family. My Dad's job is super flexible and he is able (and willing!) to drive an hour and fifteen minutes out here twice a week to watch Emmaline for us. How amazing is that? We are so fortunate to not have to put her in daycare and she gets to spend quality time with a grandparent. And she loves her Miyagi (her name for him!).

Speaking of Em, she is so fun these days. She is always up to something silly. When she's playing on the floor with her toys, she likes to roll around and scoot until she's stuck under the futon on her belly facing out. It's quite remarkable that she can get into that position considering she still can't crawl yet. However, she can't get out of it! So Mamma has to come over there and pull her out. She still only says "DaDa" despite me working very hard for that "MaMa!" I will have her in my lap and tell her "MA...MA.." and she'll look at my lips very closely and concentrate for a minute and stare and then slowly say "Da..Da.." haha. I have to laugh.

Wedding planning is coming along. It's in exactly a month! It turns out the reception site which burned down a week ago and we initially thought would be repaired in time won't be ready for our day so now we are scrambling to find an alternative. This is the part I really don't like. But I know we have to make a decision. We are going to look at a place on Saturday and we have a couple other options as well. Invitations went out today. We had to hold off because we weren't sure whether we were moving the wedding site, or date and finally we just decided to send them and if we need to change something later we will. Honestly, I just want to be married! I want it to be beautiful and to show our guests a good time, but the most important thing to me is that we are officially married. I just love him so much!

Here is a picture of Em getting stuck!

And a favorite one of mine she recently mugged for...

godliness.

This has been an interesting semester and while, technically, I still have some more things to finish up, it is almost finished. Today was the last day of classes and I have three finals next week.

Just about there.

I have enjoyed my classes a lot more than I thought I was going to. Actually, this whole semester has turned out better than I thought it was going to. I was so unsure about even going back to school after having Emmaline. I was sad about leaving her all day (even if it was just with Patrick). I didn't know if I could handle being a Mom, keeping the house, and taking 15 hours. I wasn't sure how much more I had left to graduate, what requirements I needed to fulfill, what tests I needed to take, etc. I was scared about getting my work done but having enough time to spend with my daughter. I was worried about neglecting Patrick.

But honestly, everything has worked out really well. I am so grateful Patrick and I were able to stagger our schedules so that we could both go to school full time but Emmaline would always be home with one of us. I just could not do daycare. I am not in any way bashing it, by the way! I am just so uptight and anxious I literally don't think my health could stand me leaving her (as insane as that sounds... Did I just admit that for the world to see?) I trust Patrick with everything I have and I still get nervous leaving her. Hell, I worry about her when she's sitting right in front of me. So, this was the best way to ease me back into school.

My classes were challenging enough to keep my attention but not so hard I was drowning in work. I learned that if I take 18 hours in the Spring (eek!) and 2 Summer classes followed by my Fall semester of student teaching, I will be graduating a semester earlier than I thought I would be! So that's the plan for now.

One thing I noticed, which I don't know if it's a coincidence or forced, but a lot of what I learned this semester has really made me go home and think about my own life. One class in particular really got to me. I just finished up a Women and the Law class which deals, basically, with how the Constitution treats Women's Rights in the United States. We talked about a lot of things ranging from sexual harassment in the workplace, to domestic violence, to prostitution, to abortion. My professor would give us these statistics and then we would learn about real people and their real cases. And I always flashed back to my daughter.

I have a huge responsibility.

Because somewhere along the way, these poor women I was learning about, they got lost. Someone let them down. We learned about 11-year old prostitutes. I read cases of women who felt they had to perform sexual acts to keep their jobs. We had to learn the history and rationalization for abortion and why teenagers shouldn't have to tell their parents. Every day I heard story after story after story of just heartbreaking stuff that I was so lucky I never had to deal with in my life and I want to protect my daughter from as well. And I would get panicky because I've got to teach Emmaline today that she is worth something, that she is loved, that she is important and special and beautiful and God's special gift.

I guess I just wondered how that happens -- how these girls get forgotten. When I got home from class today and I saw my beautiful girl smiling up at me when I walked in the door, my heart just oozed with all the love I have for her. Every day it multiplies. I can't explain it. My mind couldn't compose an eloquent or articulate enough sentence for someone to understand how much that little girl means to me. And I just don't think I could ever stop feeling this way for her.

I want to be the best Mommy I can be to Emmaline. I really do. I just pray that what Patrick and I are doing is Right and Good because we have this huge job ahead of us to grow her into a Godly young woman. And, I don't know, you just look at this perfect baby who is sinless and innocent and you don't want anything bad to ever happen to her. I know I can't protect her from everything in the big bad world. But I want to do my best to prepare her for what's out there.

finally.

Well, it has been a while since I have gotten around to writing on here. I completely bailed on that 30-Day Challenge. Turns out the topics were horrifically boring to write about. Anyway, I am back and ready to entertain the masses. I totally kind of got this idea from my sweet friend, Sarah, and have been mulling over it for a few days.

Hope she doesn't mind the plug. She may be inundated with visitors since I am known for my high traffic. hehe. jk.

Anyway, it is so funny how when we first bring home these babies we look at them and think, "Ok, now what?!" We have read, and researched, and googled, and prayed, and interviewed, and practiced, and just about everything a future parent thinks of to prepare for their baby. And then it comes. And you're scared to death! Well, at least I was anyway.

I remember being terrified she wasn't eating enough. Then scared she wasn't warm enough. Then worried about taking her out all by myself. And on and on and on. Now I am a pro at all of those things. I am an expert.*

*Disclaimer: Expert at being a Mom to 7 1/2 month old Emmaline.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and my baby is completely different from yours and from any future ones I may have. However, I decided to gather up some of my "vast" knowledge from the past 7 months because 1] I really do feel like I have come so far, 2] I always LOVE getting feedback from my other Mommy friends and 3] things are so amazing right now, this is almost my cheesy "Thanks"giving blog. Almost...

The "Good's" in my life

Good Tips, Good Equipment, etc

• Mommy Friends: Seriously. Out of nowhere, a bunch of us got pregnant around the same time and it was such a blessing to have other women to bounce ideas off of. They were amazing for support, ideas, advice, laughter, and just to talk to! I have gone out with some Mommy friends and trust me, no one understands the trials and tribulations of traveling with an infant like another Mommy :) I love looking at pictures of their babies and hearing about their milestones. We share tips on sales on diapers and baby food. Another thing I like is that as many of us as there are, we all raise our babies different too and we all respect that. No one judges. We don't go off if someone isn't breastfeeding or if someone uses a paci or goes back to work or wants to make their own baby food. We share our stories and discuss the pros and cons and it really is great. I love my Mommy friends!
• BabyLegs: One of my favorite finds for Emmaline. I love putting these on her when she's playing around the house. Pop on a onesie and a cute pair of leg warmers and you're good to go! Baby stays warm, no rug burns, and it makes diaper changes easy too!
• Tommee Tippee: Best bottles! Emmaline was so picky when it came to her bottles. She got used to the special needs feeder they gave her at the hospital and then once she outgrew 45 oz. we had to go scrambling for something she would drink out of. We found these and love them! And now we are working on using their sippee cups too. I hope she likes them!
• BabySteals.com: Such a fun way to save some money! Twice a day - at 10a and 10p central, they have one different product available for a "steal" usually at least 50% off. They are usually also luxury items made of high quality material. Ooohlala. It's fun waiting to see every day what the steal-of-the-day is going to be. I haven't bought but one or two things off of there mostly because Emmaline doesn't really need much but they have incredibly fast shipping. It's from Utah and I think it only took a day!
• Dr. Derek Johnson: We love our pediatrician. We didn't go about picking him out the "right" way. I know you're supposed to research and ask friends and interview potential doctors. But Emmaline came almost 5 1/2 weeks early so I wasn't really to that point yet. He was the pediatrician on staff at the hospital the morning she was born so I just found his office when we were discharged and made an appointment. When Patrick and I went to see him, we both knew he was "the one." haha. He was this huge black guy and picked up our tiny 5 lb baby and cooed at her and played with her like no one was looking. It was adorable. He was straightforward. He didn't beat around the bush at all. He made fun of my list of questions. What sealed the deal? He knew what Patrick's Triumph shirt meant (It's a motorcycle company) because he rides too. Patrick probably wanted to date him. Basically, we felt so comfortable with him. Also, his nurses are GREAT! They are so wonderful with Emmaline. They make the whole shots thing as quick and painless as it can possible be and they have the best attitudes!
• Swing: Eeeek, Emmaline sleeps like a champ at night in her crib but she will not nap during the day unless she is napping with Mamma on the couch or in her swing! So thank goodness her Granny and Miyagi got this for her!
• Pictures: I won't even attempt to find a page for my camera because it's so ancient but it gets the job done. I am trying to remember to take a million pictures because you have to admit, she's awfully cute. I like to try and capture everything. I might try too hard. But I just know we're going to forget all these little things, and perhaps even some of the big things too, and that makes me so sad. I want to remember how very happy we all were right now and how beautiful and perfect she always is.
• Reading/Talking: I try to read to Emmaline as much as I can but I know I could be better about it. We signed her up for the Dolly Parton Imagination Library so Emmaline gets a free book every month until she turns 5. How amazing is that? Every parent in TN needs to do this for their baby! Anyway, I know she loves when her Daddy reads to her because of his deep voice. She's always loved it - even when she was in my belly still. But I also talk to her all day long, constantly. I know this is good for her because we've talked about it in some of my education classes. It just helps the child understand language as a whole better: rhythm, inflection, facial expressions, etc. And if you've been around her, you know she loves to yak!
• Friends: We have a great group of friends. They have supported Patrick and me throughout this whole pregnancy and if they every judged us or were disappointed, they never let it show. They never lectured us or turned their backs on us. They love Emmaline to pieces and shower her with attention. Whenever someone comes over, I think Patrick and I barely get a hi before they're down on the floor playing with her. This means so much to me. When you love my baby and show my baby affection, you are loving me. My friends give me "adult time" (though I sometimes question how much more mature they are than Emmaline, haha) when I am only around a baby for so long. My best friend, Emily, makes me feel like a queen. I can't explain it. She just loves me so much. And Jane and Meredith are such cute little girly-girls. Love them!
• Patrick: Probably the most important thing on this earth right now in helping me get through every day. Where do I even begin? Every woman needs their own version of a Patrick. Every wife needs one. Every Mom needs one. I couldn't even imagine going at this alone. Yeah, sometimes he gets lazy and sometimes he walks by wrappers on the floor and doesn't pick them and he always (probably 'til the day he dies) leaves his black socks balled up next to bed... where was I going? Oh right. But honestly, I could not ask for a better man. He is the best father to Emmaline. He adores her. And she loves him. When she sees him coming in for a kiss, she just starts smiling so big. He gets excited when she learns new things. He likes seeing her in a new big girl outfit. He actually cares. I see these girls on 16 & Pregnant and I think, "How on earth do you do it?" There is no way. I need him. I do. He helps with the dishes. He helps fold laundry. Every Tuesday and Thursday while I am at school, he watches Emmaline until 4:30p completely by himself. If it weren't for him, I would have had to have dropped out of school but he is making sure I get to finish. Love him!

I think there is more I wanted to say but I am suddenly exhausted and tomorrow is going to bed a long day that starts early! Cannot wait to see my family! Happy gobble-gobble day.

day 2

Where I would Like to be in 10 Years

Hmm. Graduated? That would be nice. Hopefully that will have happened and I will be working, successfully and happily, as a high school history teacher somewhere here in Tennessee. Maybe Williamson County? Hey, a girl can dream, right?

I will be the Mommy of a 10-year old Emmaline (WHAT?!) which absolutely blows my mind. I wonder what kind of little girl she is going to be. I can't wait to discover her little personality - all her likes, dislikes, fears, dreams... And we will hopefully have more children by then, too. And maybe we will finally get a little boy on the Womac side!

I hope that Patrick has gotten his law degree (if that's still what he wants to do by then) and he is working, successfully and happily, in some law firm. I hope he's making enough money that we don't have to worry and stress about money but not so much that it becomes too important.

I hope we have a house. I want Emmaline and any future Womac babies to have a yard and a swing set and sidewalks to ride their bikes. I want them to have their own little rooms that we decorate together.

I hope we are a happy family. I hope we are busy (ballet, soccer, homework, church, t-ball, piano, etc!) but organized. I hope we laugh a lot and love even more. I hope we always make time to play with our babies. I hope Patrick and I still have our date nights and hold hands.

I hope I am better at sewing and that my kids let me do crafts with them. I hope they won't be embarrassed if Mom wants to make their Halloween costumes because I really can't see myself forking over $35 for a cheap nylon costume that will only be used one night.

I hope we are active and involved in a church. I hope they have something for all of us - a good child's department, nursery, and adult Bible study classes. Maybe they will even have little activities we can bring the kids to like movie or park outings. I so look forward to my babies coming home with their glittery messes that they made for us in Sunday School.

But more than anything else, I hope we are a family still. I hope that I have done the best I can to raise good, honest, happy children. I hope that I have done everything I can to be faithful to Patrick and serve him as a wife as best I can. I just hope there is a lot of laughing and cuddling because I could never get tired of that.

day 1

Current Relationship

Wow, what a way to start this off. This might the hardest one for me to write because I just don't even know where to start. Maybe the beginning?

Mamma always told me that I would find the perfect guy when I was least expecting it. I think most parents say something along those lines as some point. Well, as it often goes, she was right. When I started MTSU in the Spring semester of 2009, the last thing on my mind was boys. I had pretty recently gotten out of a relationship which was not only dramatic and wore me out, but it was also violent. And it's embarrassing and heart-breaking to admit but true. He also cheated on me. But I didn't realize that part until he got married 2 months after we broke up.

After that ended and I moved back to TN, I spent the whole month of December reflecting on my life. There were things about myself I was really proud of. I had moved to GA, gotten a really great job, made great money and had my own place. I paid all my own bills and was taking care of myself almost completely. But there were way more things that were hurting me, haunting me, stressing me out. I was embarrassed and mad at myself that I never finished college. I was mad I had spent so much time away from my sisters. I was horrified at what I had let happen between me and my ex-boyfriend. How did things get so bad? How did I get to a point where I let another person treat me like that?

I thank (THANK!) my parents for everything they had to do to get me into school that January. We had mere weeks to get money, applications, transcripts, phone calls, visits, etc (!!!) done to make sure I had classes I could take. And, to make things even more difficult, it was the holiday so a lot of things got put on hold simply because offices were closed. Eventually everything worked out and I was living on campus and ready to finish up this whole college thing. I was so excited to put the last two years behind me and concentrate on ME and getting my degree. I pep talked to myself extensively those first few weeks. I was going to dive into schoolwork 100% and I wasn't even going to think about boys. It honestly wasn't that hard because I was burnt out on love. I remember getting dressed that first day of classes and thinking that I honestly felt pretty for me - not for any boy.

Enter fate.

My first class on my first day of my first semester at MTSU was American Government. I got there early and I tried really hard to make friends with the people around me. (That was something I regretted about Belmont - that I never really tried hard to get to know many people.) There were some nice people and a couple quiet people. There was one weird kid who kept talking about anarchy and I made a note to not sit near him. I went in and picked out my seat and got ready to learn. And we had class. And that was it.

And I went to class every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

After a week or two, I noticed this boy who sat in front of me. He wasn't hard to miss. He had really long, curly hair and I wasn't exactly sure what style he was going for. It was odd though that he had such bad hair because he always dressed really nicely for class. That stood out to me because it was an early morning class (9:10a) and most people didn't even show up at all more or less show up in button down shirts and loafers. He didn't look nerdy - just nice. He sat in front of me and over one seat and he was constantly turning around to talk to me before class started. It was usually something stupid. Like, really stupid. I could tell he thought he was funny but it wasn't and it make me feel really awkward. But he was nice.

Lo and behold, I get a friend invite on fbook. I didn't know who it was. "Patrick Adam Womac"? I clicked on the name and the profile picture was a blown up cell phone picture (ie. highly pixelated) of some dark skinned boy standing next to a life-size lobster. What the heck? Then is dawned on me that it was the goofy boy in American Gov. "Great," I thought. "He knows my name."

So, naturally I went snooping. I found a "Note" he had written on there called "25 things" and you just had to write 25 facts about yourself. His number 7 was "I once fell through a roof and came away unscafed." I thought this was so funny so I commented on how he probably meant "unscathed" since "unscafed" is not a word. But there was something about his list that caught my eye. Maybe it was his number 25? "If gentlemen prefer blondes then I can never be a gentleman because I like brunettes best."

Anyway, he eventually fbook chatted me and we talked for a few minutes. The chat ended with him listing the 10 hottest actresses he knows. haha, I know, so endearing. Like I really wanted to hear all of that? But when he got done, he said something charming about them all having dark skin, light eyes, and brown hair and that's what he likes best. He was laying it on pretty thick. Eeek! I had to run away! NO boys, remember?

So, obviously, I invited him over to watch a movie. Haha, and he basically hasn't left since.

I don't know how this works so well or why I could have ever been so lucky. I don't know why things have succeeded amazingly well when EVERYTHING screamed, "This is a disaster waiting to happen! Leave! Run!" such as:
- He was only 19 and I was 23. Um... talk about an age gap. But not only that, a life experience gap. There were so many things I had done in life (get a job, have bank account, live on my own, vote, file my own taxes etc) that he had never done before.
- He had never had a girlfriend before. Not only was I trying to avoid boys but if I was going to make an exception, did I want to do it for someone who had NO idea what they were doing?
- I wasn't looking for a boyfriend! Not only that, I was purposely avoiding boys altogether!

But the thing about it was, we spent every waking moment together we could and most sleeping moments too. We did everything together and I never got tired of him. I never needed a break. I missed him like crazy when he had to go do other things. It wasn't an obsession thing.I got along just fine when he wasn't there. It was just that I 100% preferred that he was. And slowly, before I knew what had even happened, I fell in love with him. And he fell in love with me too.

Seeing him now, I can't imagine that I ever was alive and not his partner. I don't care if this makes me look anti-feminist or desperate or clingy or cliche... He is my other half. He makes me whole. He is my best friend before anything else and my lover right on top of that. We agree on our outlook on life: religion, family, politics, money. We have our differences in beliefs and personality but they complement each other (not compete with each other!). Being an adult and being in a relationship is never "easy" but I can honestly say that loving Patrick is never hard. I have never been in a relationship where I didn't have to fight for attention or love. We don't have to play mind or jealousy games. I don't pout when he can't read my mind and he doesn't ditch me to go hang with his buddies. We genuinely want to be with each other.

I don't know how to explain it but I know how being with him makes me feel. I feel secure, loved, taken care of, peaceful, calm, and relaxed. I'm happy. Anyone who has known me for a while knows how I can be at times. I am uptight. I am anal-retentive. I am bossy. I get stressed out easily. I get my feelings hurt easily. I am not confident. I am stubborn. Patrick has made all of those things unnecessary. I still want the house perfect but he actually helps me clean so it's not a burden on me. I am still bossy but he has helped show me that he is the man of the house and big decisions are ultimately his (because he will always make them with me and Emmaline's best interests in mind!). I am still stubborn but he is so patient and understanding. I still get stressed out but he is one of the most calming people I know. All of those things have slowly faded since being with him.

Probably the thing I love most about Patrick is how good of a Dad he is. He is amazing. He loves me and Emmaline with everything he has. He plays with her, he bathes her, he feeds her, he dresses her... everything! The first thing he said when she was born was "She's so cute!" and that absolutely melted me. When she was little, he got up with her in the middle of nights with me. If he goes somewhere, he wants me and Em to go with him. He doesn't look at her as dragging him down or keeping him from doing anything. He's crazy about her. And she loves him so much.

I know we didn't do things in necessarily the "right" order and I do wish we had so I could be a better example to my sisters and Emmaline one day. But, we are the lucky ones. We love each other, truly. We love Emmaline. We have wonderful families who support our relationship and love our daughter. And we are getting married in February! I cannot wait to call Patrick my husband. I get butterflies just imagining saying it! I don't know why God decided I was good enough to get Patrick but He gave him to me anyway and I promise to always take care of this special gift.

distractions.

Is it any wonder I find it dang near impossible to get homework done when she's awake? How could anyone expect me to concentrate on Constitutional Nationalism in Berlin when this ball of cuteness and noise is vying for my attention?

She's the cutest distraction I ever did meet...

uncle aaron.

Emmaline loves her Uncle Aaron :) Forevs.


Here she is reppin' for his former learning institution.







And here she is playing with Big Blue Bear that Uncle Aaron and Elise got her. She LOVES him!!

big.

My baby is growing and it's... good, I guess. Good in that she is learning and developing and becoming a smart little girl. But bad because it makes me a little sad to know my little baby is fading.

We took Emmaline to the park because I've been dying to get her into a swing. Patrick really dragged his feet about the whole thing because he (and I quote) "doesn't like parks." Who doesn't like parks? haha. Anyway, I talked him into it and we ended up having a really great time. The park is on the site of an old Union fort from the Civil War so in addition to the playground (and lots of other nice amenities, I might add) they have some awesome trails through the woods with signs and artifacts from the war. Um, yes! Patrick and I took Em in her stroller for a long, brisk walk and it was so much fun. Sweet baby even fell asleep during her ride.

Anyway, I got some video of Em in her first swing ride! She wasn't so sure at first but then she kinda warmed up to it.