break.

Well it's nearly midnight in the middle of my last Spring Break as a college student (hopefully!). And while I'm not participating in any wet t-shirt contests, letting strange males drink liquor from my navel or flashing strangers for "Girls Gone Wild!" I am enjoying the break nonetheless. Crazy, huh? :)

I am trying to get caught up, or ahead I suppose, on my schoolwork but Emmaline and her newfound talent of climbing are not really letting me do too much of that. It's ok though. I am doing a little here and there. My Dad has been awesome and came a couple hours on Tuesday even though he technically wasn't needed at all so I could go to the library and study . I have to take my Praxis on Saturday and I am so nervous. He's coming again tomorrow so I can study ALL day and I need it! I studied the PLT part (teacher stuff) on Tuesday so I will review a little of that but I mostly want to focus on the history part tomorrow. The history Praxis exam covers everything from the the beginning of time up to now so there is a lot to study!

Other than that, my grades in class seem to be ok. I have only made one B so far (the rest all A's) and from what I could see of everyone else's papers, I think I was pretty lucky to get that. He seemed so easygoing the whole semester and then we had this paper and it was like BAM! evil professor. I know I shouldn't be complacent but I will still be happy if I pull out a B in that class. I would love to have all A's but it's English and I have never had an issue getting A's on papers and if he wasn't satisfied then I really don't know what more I could have done. I did all the readings I was supposed to do, have been to every single class on time, contribute to the class discussions and wrote a standard Naomi paper. So, I am trying to be reasonable here and accept that I will probably not be able to please him. Although, I do think I scored brownie points in the last class meeting because I knew what a comma splice was and what the past participle of "lie" is (it's "lain").

But life is going well. I am so enjoying being married. I love the security of knowing Patrick is ours forever. I always believed and trusted him before but there is something about going through the whole ceremony that just makes it official; it was the everlasting icing on our lifetime cake :) I am still tickled to call him "my husband." And he really is the best husband and Daddy. I don't know how or why I got so blessed. I really don't. I pray my sisters and Emmaline wait until a man like Patrick comes along and finds them because they deserve nothing less than the love, joy, security, comfort and peace a relationship like this can bring.

Well, I need to get back to homework. It's late but I am not ready for bed yet. I am such a party animal...

day 7.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

My engagement ring :)

It symbolizes the decision Patrick made to ask me to be his wife.

And the decision I made to accept.

I can't wait to join my wedding band with it (5 days!).

heavy.

It's that time of the year again. Fed Ex and UPS men are visiting my door daily with school books ordered cheaply (and smartly, if I do say so myself) off Amazon. I'm making tuna fish sandwiches to pack in my lunch (yes, I'm that girl who busts out the fishy sandwich in class). And every Tuesday and Thursday I have to say goodbye to my sweet baby and get my learnin' on.

It hasn't been too bad so far. I am taking 18 hours this semester and I was pretty nervous about it. But... it has to be done. I want to graduate. It's time. With Patrick working downtown at the Legislature Monday through Friday, I wasn't exactly sure how childcare was going to work with Em. But I didn't want Patrick to miss out on that opportunity. I knew it was important to him and a good experience to have. Luckily, we have wonderful family. My Dad's job is super flexible and he is able (and willing!) to drive an hour and fifteen minutes out here twice a week to watch Emmaline for us. How amazing is that? We are so fortunate to not have to put her in daycare and she gets to spend quality time with a grandparent. And she loves her Miyagi (her name for him!).

Speaking of Em, she is so fun these days. She is always up to something silly. When she's playing on the floor with her toys, she likes to roll around and scoot until she's stuck under the futon on her belly facing out. It's quite remarkable that she can get into that position considering she still can't crawl yet. However, she can't get out of it! So Mamma has to come over there and pull her out. She still only says "DaDa" despite me working very hard for that "MaMa!" I will have her in my lap and tell her "MA...MA.." and she'll look at my lips very closely and concentrate for a minute and stare and then slowly say "Da..Da.." haha. I have to laugh.

Wedding planning is coming along. It's in exactly a month! It turns out the reception site which burned down a week ago and we initially thought would be repaired in time won't be ready for our day so now we are scrambling to find an alternative. This is the part I really don't like. But I know we have to make a decision. We are going to look at a place on Saturday and we have a couple other options as well. Invitations went out today. We had to hold off because we weren't sure whether we were moving the wedding site, or date and finally we just decided to send them and if we need to change something later we will. Honestly, I just want to be married! I want it to be beautiful and to show our guests a good time, but the most important thing to me is that we are officially married. I just love him so much!

Here is a picture of Em getting stuck!

And a favorite one of mine she recently mugged for...

day 2

Where I would Like to be in 10 Years

Hmm. Graduated? That would be nice. Hopefully that will have happened and I will be working, successfully and happily, as a high school history teacher somewhere here in Tennessee. Maybe Williamson County? Hey, a girl can dream, right?

I will be the Mommy of a 10-year old Emmaline (WHAT?!) which absolutely blows my mind. I wonder what kind of little girl she is going to be. I can't wait to discover her little personality - all her likes, dislikes, fears, dreams... And we will hopefully have more children by then, too. And maybe we will finally get a little boy on the Womac side!

I hope that Patrick has gotten his law degree (if that's still what he wants to do by then) and he is working, successfully and happily, in some law firm. I hope he's making enough money that we don't have to worry and stress about money but not so much that it becomes too important.

I hope we have a house. I want Emmaline and any future Womac babies to have a yard and a swing set and sidewalks to ride their bikes. I want them to have their own little rooms that we decorate together.

I hope we are a happy family. I hope we are busy (ballet, soccer, homework, church, t-ball, piano, etc!) but organized. I hope we laugh a lot and love even more. I hope we always make time to play with our babies. I hope Patrick and I still have our date nights and hold hands.

I hope I am better at sewing and that my kids let me do crafts with them. I hope they won't be embarrassed if Mom wants to make their Halloween costumes because I really can't see myself forking over $35 for a cheap nylon costume that will only be used one night.

I hope we are active and involved in a church. I hope they have something for all of us - a good child's department, nursery, and adult Bible study classes. Maybe they will even have little activities we can bring the kids to like movie or park outings. I so look forward to my babies coming home with their glittery messes that they made for us in Sunday School.

But more than anything else, I hope we are a family still. I hope that I have done the best I can to raise good, honest, happy children. I hope that I have done everything I can to be faithful to Patrick and serve him as a wife as best I can. I just hope there is a lot of laughing and cuddling because I could never get tired of that.

day 1

Current Relationship

Wow, what a way to start this off. This might the hardest one for me to write because I just don't even know where to start. Maybe the beginning?

Mamma always told me that I would find the perfect guy when I was least expecting it. I think most parents say something along those lines as some point. Well, as it often goes, she was right. When I started MTSU in the Spring semester of 2009, the last thing on my mind was boys. I had pretty recently gotten out of a relationship which was not only dramatic and wore me out, but it was also violent. And it's embarrassing and heart-breaking to admit but true. He also cheated on me. But I didn't realize that part until he got married 2 months after we broke up.

After that ended and I moved back to TN, I spent the whole month of December reflecting on my life. There were things about myself I was really proud of. I had moved to GA, gotten a really great job, made great money and had my own place. I paid all my own bills and was taking care of myself almost completely. But there were way more things that were hurting me, haunting me, stressing me out. I was embarrassed and mad at myself that I never finished college. I was mad I had spent so much time away from my sisters. I was horrified at what I had let happen between me and my ex-boyfriend. How did things get so bad? How did I get to a point where I let another person treat me like that?

I thank (THANK!) my parents for everything they had to do to get me into school that January. We had mere weeks to get money, applications, transcripts, phone calls, visits, etc (!!!) done to make sure I had classes I could take. And, to make things even more difficult, it was the holiday so a lot of things got put on hold simply because offices were closed. Eventually everything worked out and I was living on campus and ready to finish up this whole college thing. I was so excited to put the last two years behind me and concentrate on ME and getting my degree. I pep talked to myself extensively those first few weeks. I was going to dive into schoolwork 100% and I wasn't even going to think about boys. It honestly wasn't that hard because I was burnt out on love. I remember getting dressed that first day of classes and thinking that I honestly felt pretty for me - not for any boy.

Enter fate.

My first class on my first day of my first semester at MTSU was American Government. I got there early and I tried really hard to make friends with the people around me. (That was something I regretted about Belmont - that I never really tried hard to get to know many people.) There were some nice people and a couple quiet people. There was one weird kid who kept talking about anarchy and I made a note to not sit near him. I went in and picked out my seat and got ready to learn. And we had class. And that was it.

And I went to class every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

After a week or two, I noticed this boy who sat in front of me. He wasn't hard to miss. He had really long, curly hair and I wasn't exactly sure what style he was going for. It was odd though that he had such bad hair because he always dressed really nicely for class. That stood out to me because it was an early morning class (9:10a) and most people didn't even show up at all more or less show up in button down shirts and loafers. He didn't look nerdy - just nice. He sat in front of me and over one seat and he was constantly turning around to talk to me before class started. It was usually something stupid. Like, really stupid. I could tell he thought he was funny but it wasn't and it make me feel really awkward. But he was nice.

Lo and behold, I get a friend invite on fbook. I didn't know who it was. "Patrick Adam Womac"? I clicked on the name and the profile picture was a blown up cell phone picture (ie. highly pixelated) of some dark skinned boy standing next to a life-size lobster. What the heck? Then is dawned on me that it was the goofy boy in American Gov. "Great," I thought. "He knows my name."

So, naturally I went snooping. I found a "Note" he had written on there called "25 things" and you just had to write 25 facts about yourself. His number 7 was "I once fell through a roof and came away unscafed." I thought this was so funny so I commented on how he probably meant "unscathed" since "unscafed" is not a word. But there was something about his list that caught my eye. Maybe it was his number 25? "If gentlemen prefer blondes then I can never be a gentleman because I like brunettes best."

Anyway, he eventually fbook chatted me and we talked for a few minutes. The chat ended with him listing the 10 hottest actresses he knows. haha, I know, so endearing. Like I really wanted to hear all of that? But when he got done, he said something charming about them all having dark skin, light eyes, and brown hair and that's what he likes best. He was laying it on pretty thick. Eeek! I had to run away! NO boys, remember?

So, obviously, I invited him over to watch a movie. Haha, and he basically hasn't left since.

I don't know how this works so well or why I could have ever been so lucky. I don't know why things have succeeded amazingly well when EVERYTHING screamed, "This is a disaster waiting to happen! Leave! Run!" such as:
- He was only 19 and I was 23. Um... talk about an age gap. But not only that, a life experience gap. There were so many things I had done in life (get a job, have bank account, live on my own, vote, file my own taxes etc) that he had never done before.
- He had never had a girlfriend before. Not only was I trying to avoid boys but if I was going to make an exception, did I want to do it for someone who had NO idea what they were doing?
- I wasn't looking for a boyfriend! Not only that, I was purposely avoiding boys altogether!

But the thing about it was, we spent every waking moment together we could and most sleeping moments too. We did everything together and I never got tired of him. I never needed a break. I missed him like crazy when he had to go do other things. It wasn't an obsession thing.I got along just fine when he wasn't there. It was just that I 100% preferred that he was. And slowly, before I knew what had even happened, I fell in love with him. And he fell in love with me too.

Seeing him now, I can't imagine that I ever was alive and not his partner. I don't care if this makes me look anti-feminist or desperate or clingy or cliche... He is my other half. He makes me whole. He is my best friend before anything else and my lover right on top of that. We agree on our outlook on life: religion, family, politics, money. We have our differences in beliefs and personality but they complement each other (not compete with each other!). Being an adult and being in a relationship is never "easy" but I can honestly say that loving Patrick is never hard. I have never been in a relationship where I didn't have to fight for attention or love. We don't have to play mind or jealousy games. I don't pout when he can't read my mind and he doesn't ditch me to go hang with his buddies. We genuinely want to be with each other.

I don't know how to explain it but I know how being with him makes me feel. I feel secure, loved, taken care of, peaceful, calm, and relaxed. I'm happy. Anyone who has known me for a while knows how I can be at times. I am uptight. I am anal-retentive. I am bossy. I get stressed out easily. I get my feelings hurt easily. I am not confident. I am stubborn. Patrick has made all of those things unnecessary. I still want the house perfect but he actually helps me clean so it's not a burden on me. I am still bossy but he has helped show me that he is the man of the house and big decisions are ultimately his (because he will always make them with me and Emmaline's best interests in mind!). I am still stubborn but he is so patient and understanding. I still get stressed out but he is one of the most calming people I know. All of those things have slowly faded since being with him.

Probably the thing I love most about Patrick is how good of a Dad he is. He is amazing. He loves me and Emmaline with everything he has. He plays with her, he bathes her, he feeds her, he dresses her... everything! The first thing he said when she was born was "She's so cute!" and that absolutely melted me. When she was little, he got up with her in the middle of nights with me. If he goes somewhere, he wants me and Em to go with him. He doesn't look at her as dragging him down or keeping him from doing anything. He's crazy about her. And she loves him so much.

I know we didn't do things in necessarily the "right" order and I do wish we had so I could be a better example to my sisters and Emmaline one day. But, we are the lucky ones. We love each other, truly. We love Emmaline. We have wonderful families who support our relationship and love our daughter. And we are getting married in February! I cannot wait to call Patrick my husband. I get butterflies just imagining saying it! I don't know why God decided I was good enough to get Patrick but He gave him to me anyway and I promise to always take care of this special gift.